Self Realization and Marriage

Query: Do you think a person can get self realization while married or the person has to be a bachelor (don't marry) or leave the marriage life to achieve god self realization?

Vijay Kumar:
Your query relates to self realization and marriage. Yes, self realization and marriage can both go together. For achieving the stage of self realization in present life it is not necessary that one remains a bachelor. Bachelorhood is desirable but not essential for reaching the stage of self realization.

If it were so that only bachelors could attain self realization... then it would be a complete chaos for the ghats of Ganges River at Haridwar and Varanasi are already full of people who left the precincts of their family like Gautama Buddha did.

In the initial stages of his life Gautama Buddha made a mistake. He left his family without having completed his responsibilities and burnt out this karma. Unless and until the karma is burnt completely... no spiritual seeker can ever proceed towards the stage of self realization in right earnestness.

By burning out our karma we mean... that we have been absolved of our responsibilities in entirety by all the family members. At no stage of life henceforth no family member can fall upon this spiritual seeker to look after worldly matters. It is the end of the relationship forever.

One who truly enters monk hood as a bachelor must first burn out this karma completely. Only then one can truly proceed towards self realization.

Most of the people we find in various religious centres of the world are those who have rather run away from home without having completed their responsibilities either towards those younger to them or their elders. In the system of God nothing is disordered at any stage.

If we are to start the balance sheet for the New Year... we need to first close the balance sheet of the last year. Trying to make a balance sheet for the present year without accounting for the balance sheet of the last year is cheating our own self. On the spiritual path such hindrances can only prolong our journey towards gaining self realization.

Whether we remain a bachelor or a householder... we need to burn out our karma in both the stages. As a householder we are supposed to live like King Janaka... who was a true Karma Yogi. King Janaka was a very efficient ruler for he never indulged himself in the affairs of his country. He always worked as a Nishkama karma Yogi... something which is very essential for gaining self realization.

King Janaka gained self realization within his lifetime. He was very adept in spiritual matters. Conducting the affairs of his kingdom and also spiritual congregations with minute precision was his forte.

I truly lived like King Janaka from the very beginning. Able to see between truthfulness and falsehood... I continued my journey towards God without a break. Whatever I may be doing at any stage of my life... I never indulged in it wholeheartedly... reason being my ultimate goal of life was gaining entry into the house of God.

I wanted to have a vision of God in the present life. Furthermore I wanted to talk to god on one-to-one basis. I had the experience of Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa before me. I simply wanted to duplicate it. After 25 years of patient practice... I succeeded in gaining self realization at 37 years of age. I had become a living Ramakrishna Paramhansa.

I have two lovely daughters... one is married and the younger, a computer engineer... pursuing her career. The sooner I'm able to marry my younger daughter... I look forward to brighter moments of my life. Only then I shall be wholeheartedly able to devote my full-time for the cause of the society.

Perhaps it was this... I was made for! With the blessings of God, I look forward to getting a good son-in-law for my younger daughter (preferably from a Jain family). God has been very kind to me always and ever. No son was born to me as my destiny willed otherwise. As is the practice in a Hindu household... my clan was not supposed to continue further.

I have been able to fulfill my responsibilities towards my daughters as per my capability. No doubt my wife is of the exactly opposite nature as me. If I am the North Pole... she is the South Pole! The poor girl is not able to realize that she has the blessings of God Almighty for having being married to a self realized soul.

For her, I am a lunatic who has lost his mental balance. Unable to fathom the depths of Bhagavad Gita... my wife looks forward to me as a normal human being which I am not! Whether she realizes or not... having gained self realization I cannot return back to the family bindings. My journey of life having come to an end... I have but to impart the wisdom I have gained and leave this body.

This is my last manifestation... the 8.4 millionth manifestation! Beyond this life I have nowhere else to go other than the kingdom of God where I shall meet the likes of Lord Krishna, Mahavira, Gautama Buddha, Prophet Mohammed, Adi Shankaracharya, Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa, Ramana Maharishi and many more!

The kingdom of God is a meeting place for all the souls who have completed their cosmic journey. Reaching the kingdom of God means the atman soul has finally liberated from manifesting body again and again. One has finally reached the Mount Everest of the spiritual pursuit.

Trying to gain self realization while living in the family is an extremely difficult task... yet, when it has been possible for me... I definitely can vouch that true seekers of spirituality can gain the realization while living in the family.

Whether one is able to finally complete the journey or not is dependent upon the earnestness and the truthfulness of the seeker... guidance of a Guru on the way merely clears our doubts and confusion.

Always there to clarify your queries (send your query),

Vijay Kumar "Atma Jnani" Vijay Kumar... The Man who Realized God in 1993 on Self Realization and Marriage. For more self realization and marriage define explain on dharma visit - self realization and marriage

Full text of query: I wondered if god thought that 'married life' is a kind of sin. Did you think a person can get self realization while married or the person has to leave back this type of physical need with no regard of whether the person is married or not? I see monks who are bachelor (don't marry) or left the marriage life to achieve god self realization. In your case, how did you achieve self realization? Did you got married or are you stayed bachelor? R.G